Like a lot of people, we're a bit bleary-eyed today, having stayed up to watch the Oscars. Factoring in the preshow, that's six or so hours of TV consumed in one sitting. Thankfully we had all-you-could-eat popcorn, all-you-could-drink soda, and all-you-could-take barbs courtesy of the lovely and indomitable Hedda Lettuce to sustain us. "By the end of the night, I'll be the bearded lady," she noted by way of an introduction.
It was our third time attending the Oscars at Bow Tie Cinemas, and while we opted not to get a mini-makeover or pose with the anatomically correct statue, we did sit back and enjoy Hedda's one-liners and liberal use of the laser pointer, including indicating just where on his jacket Alfonso Cuarón had semen stains ("He's been Lewinskied," Hedda shouted).
Even as she lamented the fact that Amy Adam's camel toe didn't win best actress, Hedda seemed happy that Sandra Bullock and her Gravity / Chucky haircut lost. She pointed out crows' feet, neck wrinkles, Botox gone bad. But she saved her love for those of us in the audience, and she got lots of love in return.